Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
