I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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