i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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