I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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