I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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