I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
