do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
