Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
