Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
