no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize