Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
