i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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