Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
