she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
