Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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