my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
