Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
