I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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