Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
