Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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