if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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