So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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