Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
