During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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