Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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