You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
