I'm laying in your front yard are you home
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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