I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
