I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize