I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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