put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
