I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize