STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
