I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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