I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
