You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
