Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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