Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
