I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i came on her dog
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
