Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
