DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
