the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
