You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
