so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
