Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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