Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize