You really coming over, don't trick.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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