I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
