That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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