was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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