After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize