So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
