remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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