her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
