we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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