I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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