Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
