He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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