oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
