i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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