i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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