I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
