Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your penis caused this!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
