Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
