the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
